It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was bloody well late again and asked if she could please go straight to bed and wank herself silly.

For a moment he thought she might be trying to seduce him.. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he decided she was probably too good for him..

Donald made a living nowadays as a butcher.

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a twat, the Sista a silly bitch and Buttons a tight cunt.

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald bent over and took aim, shot a great load of diorreah over the window

She was caught in the cross-fire, slipped, and choked on the mess

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but it was Donald, the dirty shitter.