It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was completely inside out and asked if she could use the little tools in his bike repair kit it to sort herself out

For a moment he thought she might be annoyed about the potato incense damaging her exposed ovaries. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he saved her the trouble by pulling her through one of her nipples.

Donald made a living nowadays as a sandwich maker

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a eight legged crisp, the Sista a lawyer and Buttons a confused labrador

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald dissolved and got the prince damp and mushy so

She got the lawyer to prosecute the dog who was still confused

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but they all changed names